"For a marriage
to work, it is
necessary that
both partners
consider the
wedding and its
success as the
most important
aspect of their
lives giving it
attention and
care. It is an
illusion to
think that a
relationship
will continue by
itself, without
being worked and
carefully
cultivated, or
still that only
one of the
partners is
responsible for
it".
1
The book "The
Good News"
2
records the
Master's
dialogues with
Joan of Chuza -
one of his most
faithful
followers.
Here is a brief
summary of this
conversation in
which the Master
suggests she
stay at home,
with her
husband, who
does not
understand her.
She lived in
Capernaum and
"followed Jesus
in the lake
preaching".
She was a
dedicated and
noble character
woman, had true
faith, but did
not have the
support of her
husband - who
was a server of
the "powerful"
of the day -
more connected
to immediate
interests.
At Simon's, she
seeks for Jesus
and tells Him
her sorrows and
domestic
ailments. The
husband could
not stand the
new doctrine,
and he did not
"accept the
truths of the
Gospel". Should
she not impose
to him her
faith?
After listening
to her
patiently, He
replies:
"- (...) Does
your husband not
understand your
sensitive soul?
He will one day.
Is he reckless
and indifferent?
Nevertheless,
love him. You
would not be
with him if
there was not a
just reason.
Serving him with
loving
dedication, you
will be living
according to
God's will.
(...) You must,
by the Gospel,
love him even
more. Those that
are sane do not
need a
physician. (...)
Be faithful to
God, love your
partner as if he
is your son.
(...) Go back to
your home and
love your
husband as if he
is the divine
material that
Heaven placed in
your hands so
that you model a
work of life,
wisdom and
love!...
(...)
- Go, my
daughter ... Be
faithful"!
This sensible
guidance gave
her resignation
and a new view
of her life.
She tried to
forget the lower
features of her
husband and
tried to see the
goodness in him,
encouraging him
to develop his
potential
virtues.
In this manner
she showed that
the one who
loves and
understands more
the other has to
reach out and
help the one who
is weak in his
faith,
descending to
his level of
understanding.
She gave birth
to a little boy
and this doubled
her work.
Over the years,
she developed
her faith and
knowledge.
Political
persecution led
her husband to
debts, to
suffering and
death.
Joan endured all
misfortunes. She
put aside the
material comfort
offered by
nobility.
She dedicated
herself to the
children of
other mothers
and was busy
with the
household
chores, so that
she could feed
her little boy.
And this
beautiful
narrative tells
us about other
relevant facts
of the life of
this
extraordinary
woman who knew
how to live as a
Christian and at
the end, in
Rome, she became
a martyr giving
her life in the
name of Jesus
and His Doctrine
of Love.
WHAT IS A HOME?
"A home means a
safe harbor, a
shelter, the
material
representation
of the place
where one lives,
a residence for
the development
of the
spiritual,
mental and moral
relations of
those who live
there, as an
image of what
will be later in
the heavenly
home, in the
kingdom of
Heaven". 3
Is it possible
to build an
ideal home? Are
there formulas?
Are there models
to follow?
What is the
purpose of a
marriage?
What ideals do
couples cherish
when building up
their own homes.
What are they
seeking for?
Is the purpose
of marriage only
to perpetuate
the human
species?
Marriage gives
us the
opportunity to
develop a home,
which is the
laboratory where
God teaches us
to exercise the
universal love.
It is not
something
finished. It is
built on a daily
basis. It does
not end when the
wedding ceremony
terminates. In
fact, that is
when it starts!
Although a
marriage is
important for
the couples
involved, and
the community,
we do not
prepare
ourselves
properly for it
as we should,
and it requires
constant
adjustments
because it
brings together
people with
different
backgrounds and
brings families
together with
different
concepts about
life. What is
natural for one,
may be harmful
for the other.
Marriage is made
of mutual giving
in. If not, the
most common
things turn into
a discussion.
Everything is
disapproved.
Intolerance
generates
implications
when sitting at
the table, the
way one chews,
if one has a
loud voice, the
way of dressing
or how one combs
his hair.
The
unwillingness to
dialogue leads
to loneliness
between two
people that live
together -
perhaps the
worst possible
type of
loneliness - or
to divorce.
If well
understood,
marriage is an
instrument that
favors our moral
development.
It allows us to
overcome
selfishness.
Before marrying
it is "my", and
after it is
"our".
Hence, the
importance of
dialogue, to
solve conflicts
throughout life.
When married,
one has to
divide your
attention, learn
to practice
resignation, to
spend sleepless
nights, tripping
over dirty
nappies, rush to
the doctor at
odd hours,
losing the movie
we'd like to
watch, the
novel, news or
sports events on
TV. Moreover, we
must learn to
replace our
ingrained
habits.
MARRIAGE AND
SPIRITISM
In Spiritism
there are no
wedding
ceremonies,
baptisms, or
formality of any
kind. It is
enabled by civil
union, according
to the Law,
which aims to
ensure the
rights of the
parties and any
descendants.
At weddings, we
are united in
prayer, in favor
of the couple
and their
families.
"(...) Unions
are provided in
our lives, to be
a dark proof
atoning, or to
be a valuable
opportunity of a
mission to
regenerate and
sanctify".
4
"(...) There are
marriages based
on love, on
brotherhood,
trial, duty
(...)".5
"Only
based on mutual
forbearance and
reciprocal
forgiveness
(...) will
husband and wife
be able to
succeed
regarding their
respective
chores and
appointments,
embracing, and
opening the door
to peace and to
the divine light
of freedom".
6
Marriage "is
a step forward
for the
development of
mankind".
7
"Marriage,
according to
God, must be
based on the
affection of
those who
unite". 7
"(...) How many
are those who
believe to be
madly in love,
because they
only judge by
the appearance,
but when they
live with
someone, they do
not take long to
recognize that
it was only a
physical
enthusiasm!
(...)
There are two
kinds of
affection: of
the body and of
the soul, often
one is mistaken
for the other.
The affection of
the soul, when
pure and
friendly, is
enduring. The
affection of the
body is
perishable. That
is why, very
often, those who
thought they
were in love
forever ended up
hating, when
illusion
perishes".
7
"How many
unhappy
marriages do we
see, as a result
of a determined
interest or
vanity, and in
which the heart
has taken no
part!" 8
"(...) Marriage
is one of the
finest acts of
our life on
earth". 9
"No one can
live normally
without company.
A look, a
gesture and a
word (...) have
deep meanings to
ensure
happiness".
10
MARRIAGE AND
REINCARNATION
The offending
husband was in
the past
inclined to
cruelty and
lies.
The unbalanced
wife was
relegated to
need and
addiction, in
another physical
existence.
(To be continued
on the next
issue of this
magazine.)
References:
1. DIAS DA
SILVA, MA.
The one who
loves does not
fall ill.
5th ed. Sao
Paulo: Best
Seller
Publisher, 1994.
p. 283.
2. XAVIER, F.
Candido. The
Good News.
By the Spirit
Humberto de
Campos. 13th ed.
Rio de Janeiro:
FEB, 1979.
Chapter 15,
pages 99-104.
3. McGarey,
Gladys y
William.
Revelaciones de
Edgar Cayce
sobre el amor y
la familia.
Madrid:
EDITORIAL EDAF,
S. A., 1989.
Chapter 16, p..
245. Free
translation of
the Spanish.
4. XAVIER,
Francisco C.
The Comforter.
By the Spirit
Emmanuel. 7th
ed.
Rio de Janeiro:
FEB.1977. Q.
179.
5. XAVIER,
Francisco C.
Our Home.
By the Spirit
Andre Luiz. 25th
edition Rio de
Janeiro: FEB,
1982.
Chapter 38, p..
212.
6. XAVIER,
Francisco C.
Life and Sex.
By the Spirit
Emmanuel.
6th edition Rio
de Janeiro: FEB,
1982.
P. 60.
7. Kardec,
Allan. The
Spirits' Book.
Translation:
Evandro Bezerra
Noleto. 1st
edition
Commemorating
the Centenary.
Rio de Janeiro:
FEB, 2006. Q.
695; 701 and
939,
respectively.
8. Kardec,
Allan. The
Gospel According
to Spiritism.
Translation:
Evandro Bezerra
Noleto. 2nd ed.
Rio de Janeiro:
FEB, 2013.
Chapter V, item
4.
9. XAVIER,
Francisco C.
The Messengers.
By the Spirit
Andre Luiz. 12th
edition Rio de
Janeiro: FEB,
1980. Chapter
30, p. 160.
10. VIEIRA,
Waldo. Sun in
Souls. By
the Spirit Andre
Luiz. 3rd ed.
Uberaba: CEC,
1974. Chapter
37, page 111.
