Things we do not say
to children

Every time when it is discussed about children’s education, it soon comes to our minds the parents’ roll, out of question, the most interested that their children become good people, of a good character and unblemished behavior.

It must be understood although that they are too – the parents – largely responsible for that happens. After all, the duty which was given to them can ever be neglected or ignored, as it is not only one duty but a truly mission. 

Let’s see for what it is taught to us in the issue 582 from The Spirit’s Book, Allan Kardec: 

582. Can it be considered as mission the fatherhood?

“It is without any question, a true mission. It is at the same time a huge duty which involves more than people think their responsibility about the future. God has put the son under parents’ guardianship, due to guiding their son into the good, and it makes it easier giving to him a fragile and delicate organization, which turns him propitious to all impressions. There are many who take care more about their own garden instead of modeling his/her son’s character. If their son fails because of their fault, they will bear regrets resulting from that fall and they will share their son suffering in future live in reason they didn’t do what it was at their range to their son develop into the good.”

It arrived days ago, an interesting text, called 10 things we should not say to the children. It was sent by someone connected to the Virtual Library of Anthroposophy, Florianópolis – SC, the only information about its authorship is that it is about Jewish’s texts. If that is true, there is no Christian influence in it and obviously, spirit’s ideas, something which it does not make it less important or outdated, by that reason we want to share it with the reader: 

1 – Do not label your son as brat, boring, sluggish or any other aggressive adjective, even as a joke. That can make your son really becomes one. 

2 – Do not say only yes. Nos and becauses are essentials to the child’s development.

3 – Do not ask if the child wants to do a mandatory activity or goes to an imperative event. Just say that now it is the time to do it.

4 – Do not tell the child to stop crying. If it is the case, ask the motive or just ask to keep calm.

5 – Do not say that the injection is not going to hurt, because you know it is going to. Only if it is a drop, tell it is going to be pretty quickly, but do not cheat the child.

6 – Do not say bad words. Your son will repeat the bad words he hears.

7 – Do not laugh of the child’s mistake. Make joke of bad behavior or mistakes in exchange of letters can curb the child’s healthy development.

8 – Do not lie. All parents’ behavior is learnt by their kids and it serves as a mirror to them.

9 – Do not say it was only a bad nightmare and send the kid to bed. Kids have difficulties to separate the real world from the imaginary world. When it happens a bad dream, keep him calm and take him back to his bed, staying until he fall sleep.

10 – Never say you are going away if he does not obey you. Threats and blackmail are never healthy things.

Talking about the purpose of infancy, it teaches Spiritism (The Spirits’ Book, issue 358) that it is during this time in life it models the character and reprimands the bad temper of a child. And it is exactly that the duty that God has imposed on parents, sacred mission which must give account.

The advice that we have given above do not exhausted the subject, but it may well help us in this duty, whose effectiveness depends directly on the effort and dedication which we accomplish it.