Suicide: Understand it in
order to prevent it

(Part One)

Problems, disappointments, sufferings and imagination of death as the end of everything are factors that lead many people to want to put an end to their existence. Understanding the immortality of the soul and reincarnation as a natural law offers a new understanding of life, showing that suicide does not solve anything
 

It is not easy to deal with this issue. Suicide is a subject that often raises various emotions such as fear and anger. It also gives rise to a number of preconceived ideas, which themselves are turned into prejudice and discrimination, reaching as much the family of the suicide, as his memory.

In part this is because the subject is considered taboo. Other reasons, mainly of a religious nature, are added, causing much moral discomfort to those who stay behind (family and friends of suicide). First of all, it is important to consider suicide as a fact that is part of our planetary reality, requiring us sensitivity and reasoning to better deal with their events and their repercussions.

Hence the urgency for us learn how better to deal with the many facets of death, to minimize in ourselves and in others the suffering caused by extreme acts such as the elimination of physical life. This is because death as a change of state of immortal individuality puts hope as the first and fundamental feeling, before even the greatest pain.

The necessary education for death

Every school student learns that living beings are born, grow, reproduce and die. This last item, however, has received inadequate attention from teachers - that's just to talk about the school, one of the important social and learning spaces in the course of our personal development.

As pointed out by Maria do Socorro Nascimento de Melo, anthropologist and educator, specialist in Thanatology at school, death "remains hidden in the pedagogical practice of educational institutions." The same author tells us that, from the 1950s, there has been an inversion in the curves of interest: of life and death. The aim is to "start children at an earlier age in the 'mysteries of life': mechanisms of sex, conception, birth and contraceptive methods," while "systematically conceal from them death and the dead ones, choosing silence as an answer to their queries and questions. This reveals an inability of educators to deal with such issues, a tendency to run away from looking at these questions face to face. Whether in school, at home or in other environments, significant experiences are not lived around the theme of 'death'.

From denial to fear

The few books that deal with death (actual fact) and dying (how the event takes place) do not invalidate what we said above, which makes the discussion on the subject (see table below) even more limited and at the same time, necessary.

The consequences of alienation in light of this natural fact range from denial over the events (the death of someone) to extreme fear, which causes depression, syndromes such as panic disorder and other psychological disorders.

Roosevelt Cassorla, a specialist in Thanatology and author of "Of the Suicide: Brazilian Studies”, deepens the discussion by showing us that the denial of death can lead to "melancholy processes, somatic difficulties in resuming life, suicide risk, withdrawal of life, feelings of guilt etc... " Facing its occurrence with someone close or distant, but that somehow affects us, is part of the grieving process, which normally should lead us to accept both death and dying.

Luto (Mourning in English) derives from Latin- Luctus and originally meant only "pain, hurt, sorrow." Over time its meaning has been expanded, and today we have the definition of the Dictionary as the "feeling of deep sadness because of someone's death" or caused by other reasons (separation, departure, break etc.); bitterness, heartbreak. A related term to the word luto (mourning) is loss, because whenever there is a significant loss in our lives, whether of a person or a condition or feeling (employment, a body alteration, change in living conditions, abandonment, etc.) we, naturally, go through the mourning process.

In general, it is not easy to deal with loss and mourning becomes complicated, because we are dealing with our own reactions, over which, ultimately, we have no control. And when this loss occurs by death caused by suicide, mourning will become even more difficult.

Suicide, according to psychologists Basil Domingos and Maria Regina Maluf, make up the list of dramatic losses, along with, among other causes, AIDS. For being "socially unauthorised" losses, that is, situations where the person dies because of an alleged unacceptable behaviour of the group that he belongs to, often also have unauthorised grief. So the survivor isolates himself and therefore looses the benefits of the cathartic process of the outburst of feelings, of the remaking and of all the support they could receive, whether from friends, relatives, or other institutions, public and private. For example, insurers do not usually pay the family a premium in case of death by suicide.

To recap: death is a natural process, but it has been denied, which has led to serious consequences for public health. Experts say that society needs to urgently re-humanize the "dying", which would imply re-taking in both old and good habits such as allowing terminally ill patients die at home, with their family, and making the funeral arrangements at home in order to mourn the dead, drawing mourning more easily and giving children and young people a healthy contact with this inevitable occurrence in life! Mourning should be experienced throughout all its stages, to enable people to deal emotionally with the distress resulting from loss, helping the scarring of the necessary wounds of the soul in order to to move forward, especially in more drastic events such as suicide and violent deaths in general.

What leads a person to want to end their life?

Depending on the point of view of several experts on the subject, many factors make up the causes that predispose people to suicide. Daniel Sampaio, a Portuguese psychologist, reminds us of the multiplicity of factors stating that "there is a set of causes leading to suicidal behaviour. (...) It is never a single cause, suicide is always multi-determined. "

These factors include mental disorders (depression), personality disorders (aggressiveness), incurable diseases, substance abuse, marital problems, complicated or ruptured interpersonal relationships and the loss of a loved one. Some mental patients have a marked suicidal tendency when experiencing acute attacks without proper monitoring and support.

Another factor is a change in personality, especially in people with low degree of maturity and who are experiencing frustration, or are subjected to high stress. The non-acceptance of one's sexual identity in face of conflicts to deal with the chosen orientation (homosexuality and the like), has caused many suicides, especially among adolescents. Cassorla Roosevelt, in turn, points to factors that induce a person to suicide: depression, alcoholism and drug addiction. Other factors associated with these are social isolation and a troubled family life.

The same author, investigating suicidal behaviour among physicians and medical students, shows the characteristics of this group of risk, which can serve as an alert to both the complexity of the issue as well as to the moral components, social and psychological factors involved: "These are people who are very demanding of themselves, often with academic success, professional or scientific.

However, they have difficulties in dealing with the frustrations of the real world, and when they look at themselves; they are inclined to believe themselves as personal failures. Their love of life is poor, a difficult and undervalued area as opposing to the intellectual one. At some point, when people are faced with an intense emptiness, fuelled by supposed 'failures' which are dependent upon sadistic self imposed requirements and are without emotional support, the unconscious terror of 'non existence' makes them think about dying. "

From the above description, we will highlight another factor: social conditions, that is, the demands made by groups that directly affect individuals linked to them. We highlight the serious problem of competitiveness and the consequent resulting spread of individualism; we still have people clinging to their jobs at a time when so much of personal identity is determined by the trajectory and professional success. Not knowing how to deal with these pressures can be fatal to the most emotionally vulnerable.

So far, we have dealt with cases in which premeditation is found in a mild or moderate form, in the midst of emotional imbalances. However, there are also cases where one cuts off one’s own life for philosophical reasons, for thinking that one is, not just a depository of life, but its absolute owner, which means the right to dispose of it as you please. Supporters and practitioners of "assisted suicide", allowed in some countries, share these ideas.

There are also cases of individuals who feel that they are in limiting situations and, with no place to turn, opt for the extreme solution of self-extermination. These are the cases of the uprooted ones, that is, people who lose their cultural references, such as indigenous and expatriate (immigrants in foreign lands).
 

(The conclusion of this article will be published in next issue of this magazine).



Abel Sidney is a writer and teacher. He participates in the Spiritist movement in Porto Velho in Roraima. He is the author of Lessons from a Suicide: a study of the classic Memoirs of a Suicide "and maintains a blog on the Internet, the blog Suicide: learn to prevent: www.conhecerparaprevenir.blogspot.com

This article was originally published in the magazine Spiritist Universe, in October 2008.