Special

por Rogério Miguez

Preparing parents to be parents

The way Humanity currently conducts itself represents the ultimate, unequivocal proof: societies are sick. Hunger, violence, wars, are striking and common characteristics of many civilizations and cultures today, and this is due to the fact that the basic cells that make up societies, families, in general, have become ill.

And why did the families get sick?

One of the most important reasons, there is no doubt, is due to the lack of knowledge on the part of its members that the conception regarding the formation of the family is divine, it was God who wisely determined that all His children could evolve by grouping, with regularity, in each existence, with a set of other Spirits - the family -, to help each other, promoting, in this way, the individual progress of each one and the group.

Therefore, at each new existence on the material plane, we should pay close attention to this commitment established with the Creator, before returning here, honoring all the occupied positions, whatever they may be, in our new families.

There is another law of God - Reproduction -, also of paramount importance to be observed in family organizations, because, without the proper functioning of this divine possibility, human life would disappear from the face of the Earth, only the irrationals would remain, because these do not question the law of reproduction of species, on the contrary, they experience this principle instinctively and without interruptions, without embarrassment.

Therefore, for the perpetuation of the human species, we must remember the to grow and multiply, and, of course, in modern times, this biblical maxim is not to be exercised without responsibility, as the Spiritist vision differs significantly from the way this principle of Moses was interpreted, in the past.

The children should not be generated in a similar way to a production line - the eighty is out of the question, however, the other extreme - the eight - is always worrying, i.e., not children in a large number, making the conditions unfeasible: they must be educated as expected, nor families without children, for reasons often devoid of any moral justification.

However, in these modern times, a worrying trend has been observed, from the point of view of maintaining this divine mechanism of perpetuation of the species, as couples are delaying, or even literally preventing the arrival of new Spirits on Earth, under different reasons. What's more, the materialist opinion suggests not having children, because the world is no good and you have to enjoy your own life, after all, they say, children create a lot of problems and cost too much.

It should be noted that, when the couple is afraid of the birth, and, expresses in words or thoughts their concerns and annoyances in taking on the education of a child, in most cases, programmed in the spiritual plane before the arrival of the future parents, a process of moving away from the future child begins, as it, still on the other side, perceives this discontent, initiating a situation of conflict, even before being reborn.

Only the Doctrine of the Spirits can explain this serious situation, since, when the child manages to come into the world, he arrives fearful, perhaps even hurt, with the indisposition shown by his parents. Therefore, the preparation of parents to be parents begins long before the child is born, through feelings of joy and love, which should be expressed in relation to the future child, when conception has not even happened.

Another undesirable situation occurs when the couple, after the arrival of another member of the family, does not realize that it is necessary to change the way they lived, as they did not adequately reflect on the arrival of another member of the family. It will no longer be possible to continue with a single life routine, or as a couple without children, when a child is born, it will be necessary to make some sacrifices, from both, to adjust the new scenario to the routine of domestic tasks.

The newborn Spirit asks for a series of special attentions that, many times, the parents are not yet prepared to follow, considering that they didn’t really have in mind the dimension of the new condition, as they often gave in to the pressure of the willing and future grandparents, perhaps from both parties, or even from society and friends, and became parents, without the adequate maturity to deal with the fatherhood-maternity binomial, that is, they did not prepare themselves.

Spiritism is rich in concepts and explanations, significantly helping to understand the importance of the family, guiding that the child, in addition to the joys provided, comes to progress, and this evolution is provided through capital laws, for example, the reincarnation.

Many believe that the child was generated during pregnancy, without realizing that, in reality, the Spirit already existed, and is just changing bodies in relation to the previous existence, which fell apart, returning to Nature. This understanding is absolutely fundamental, since the child of now has already lived other lives, and has not lost the learning process, maintaining moral and intellectual achievements, another law of God.

Unaware of this principle, parents are shocked when the child, or later, the young person, begins to act and think differently from what the parents would like it to think and act, ideally for them is to live strictly according to the standards of parental education. This lack of knowledge is a reason for serious conflict, with the possibility of creating unnecessary misunderstandings and friction, making the family ill.

The immortality of the Spirits is another concept to be well understood, besides, accepting that the children are not truly ours, they belong to God, the Creator of everyone and everything.

Another friction factor in the family is that children have innate tendencies to think this way and not that way, so when it comes time to choose a profession or a direction in a material activity, the couple must have a fair understanding that their children, in many cases, will not wish to follow the professions of their parents, as they do not have the disposition to do so. Motherhood and fatherhood were created to lead children - loans from God - on an evolutionary journey necessary for the children, being useful to them, and not necessarily to the parents.

Furthermore, this past often implies innate affinities and antagonisms between parents and children. Without this important information, which could have been previously learned, parents experience these particular relationships without realizing that they may be privileging one child over another, because of instinctive sympathy with this one, and not that other, a conduct that generates countless family frictions, with possible negative repercussions for the deceased child's entire adult life.

Parents need to study and read a lot, in this way, preparing themselves, before committing to Spirits that, properly speaking, do not belong to them. Those unable to fund study programs in areas of interest should seek organizations that offer free notions of: education, childcare, healthy psychological behaviors, such as managing a house, there are several options, just find the appropriate offer and be willing to attend the courses, better organizing for the future challenge.

Because we mention grow and multiply, it does not mean that not having children is prohibited, but it is always opportune to inform about the mechanics of life, so that a balance is reached between not assuming paternity or having children for reasons and mistaken or frivolous motivations.

If the parents-to-be, in turn, did not receive more appropriate examples of life, they must now strive to create good models of life, instead of continuing in the line of immorality under which, perhaps they were brought up, maintaining unseemly conduct, now educating their descendants badly. The offspring imitates, repeats patterns received, hence the responsibility of parents to prepare themselves to give their best, not only from a material point of view, as it is not enough just to feed and shelter, but, above all, to promote a healthy education from the perspective morals and ethics. This is spiritual nourishment, formed by examples, warnings and necessary corrections. Tomorrow, your son will be your faithful portrait.

There are parents judging that they should just work, this would be their only role within the family organism, aiming to give everything to their children, exactly what they did not have during their “unfortunate” childhood. There is no doubt that this conduct has its benefits, its value, however, more than buying objects and providing material entertainment of all kinds, it is necessary to set the example of the exercise of decent work to the offspring, teaching how to obtain money nobly and that there is a cost for everything in life. By providing indiscriminately everything the child asks for, we are creating temperamental, restless, insatiable adults, destined to face serious problems in the future when they are forced to live with a competitive and selfish society.

Patience, renunciation and good will - fragments of love - are the necessary virtues to lead children well, and should be considered and cultivated as preparation for future fatherhood and motherhood, so that you can then apply this moral learning to God's children.

Let us also consider: the task of educating children well is a preparation to carry out more significant missions in the future, and whoever is unable to help a few will never be able to lead many.


 

Translation:
Eleni Frangatos - eleni.moreira@uol.com.br

 
 

     
     

O Consolador
 Revista Semanal de Divulgação Espírita